A Small Step with Big Implications

Note: This post has been automatically imported from my old blog. Formatting may be incorrect.

I have a post planned where I go into detail about the work I've put in over the past 5 years (especially in therapy) to build better habits and attitudes around productive work. For now, though, I just want to share a small victory that I feel exemplifies the progress I've made and what I hope, based on the past year or so, will be my new normal.

Several ATLOSCons ago, I gave two talks that I didn't prepare for, and they were frankly terrible. I knew it at the time, and after getting feedback on the talk I decided I wouldn't propose another one unless I had already written up a full outline for the talk. I just submitted my first class proposal, and will hopefully be leading a discussion group this May about being an Objectivist in open source software communities.

On the surface, this doesn't seem like all that big of a deal. After all, in all that time I've been building a good life for myself, achieving a lot of planned goals and doing a lot of useful productive work, much of which was much harder than preparing this talk. So why is this special?

And the best thing about all that? It's about how I reasonably expected things to go, based on the progress I've made. I wasn't certain, but I would have been more surprised if I hadn't gotten everything finished than if I had. So, yeah, it seems small, and in the scheme of things it is, but I really feel like I will be able to look back on this little achievement as a sign of a new phase in this area of my life.